confessions of my evil heart

I went to church today. I felt full of purpose. I heard the different ways God is moving in this church, and how that is going to ripple out into Austin. I heard about what God is doing in Haiti, work that started with ONE family. People in this church care about the widow and the orphan. They care about injustice. They will lift high the name of Christ and because they are where HE is, this city will be changed.

I realized that today.

I am hearing truth. I am being renewed in my mind, stirred in my heart and led to serve others. Where does this happen? If not for this church, Doug and I would still be arguing over where our allegiance should lie--Catholocism or Methodism--oblivious that lives are lived for the glory of Christ, not "religion."

And I'm jealous because we've been at this church for FIVE years and have yet to be discipled. I'm frustrated because I feel like I don't fit in and can't find an area I want to serve. I'm bored...well, because obviously I know everything and want something new and exciting.

How do I say this? Because this church is not perfect, Doug and I have fallen through the cracks and been burned in some ways. But in it's imperfection, the heartbeat of this church is to glorify God and make His name great...And I'm focussed on me. I learned this today--God is going to use the Austin Stone to impact this city. And I can sit around and grump because I feel left out, or I can get over myself and rejoice at the mighty things God is doing and will do.

a is for amy in africa

Dreams really do come true*
by Amy Jorgensen
"the pain you feel in your heart over the desires God has put in you [them being yet unfulfilled] is your gift from Him, because it causes you to wrestle with him for the fulfillment of those desires." --Corey Russell

This quote accuratey describes the past several years of my life. At the age of 15, a dream was placed in my heart and although it's been refined some, it has mostly stayed the same for almost 10 years. I long to live with the poorest people on earth and see their lives changed as they encounter a God who is alive! This dream has not only caused great excitement and adventure, but also pain as my heart has been broken for the poor and dissapointment as I have waited for the day when what I have dreamt of will be my reality. But it has all been worth it because....

I'm going to Africa!!!

I have recently been accepted to live in Uganda with a family who moved there six months ago to start a ministry. Their vision is to build a children's home where orphans can experience the love of their heavenly Daddy. They also want to-- and already are-- having an impact on the community around them by building safe sanitation, providing clothing and shoes, giving immediate medical care, and running a program for children during the day. Since the ministry is just getting started I will be able to be a part of all that they are doing and help build it from the ground up.

During the interview, I was asked if I would be ok if all I did every day for a month was sit in the slums holding children on my lap. And in that moment I knew this was what God has for me because that describes what I've longed for the past 9 years. God has heard every prayer and seen every desire written on my heart and He is so faithful to answer them and give me even more than I've asked for. So dream with God, let Him write His desires on your heart, and you will be amazed at where he takes you!!

If you need extra help around the house, or yard, or a babysitter, Amy is willing to work for $10/hour to raise money for going to Africa.

*aisforamyinafrica.blogspot.com

beachy fun pics

more beachy fun

For Per's birthday (the new bro-in-law) we had our second trip to the beach this summer. Matthew loved swimming and playing in the sand. He also got a huge kick out of the kayak Doug brought along. I got some good reading in (John Steinbeck's East of Eden) thanks to all the family around who wanted to watch the kiddos. While chilling on the beach, listening to the waves, Kyler rolled over to her tummy for the first time.

Since we've been home Doug's been working like crazy and I've been a little stranded with only one working car. On top of that my lovely beautiful Mac decided to poop out on me, so I've been limited in my computer usage as well. Doug set up linux on a slightly less broken laptop for me. I'm getting some organizational stuff done around the house. I've had a strange response to all the things I love in life breaking or getting destroyed (iPhone, laptop, hair straightner, etc). Normally I would whine, complain or mope until getting what I want. I am rather gifted at making those standing in my way miserable until I've procured said item. But this time I've shrugged and moved on. We're not in a position to replace these items and to a certain extent they have lost their luster. Somehow, having perfectly straight hair seems a little frivolous when people are dying because they have no food.

On top of that, the whole adoption thing has seriously messed me up. I keep thinking about my kids, and wanting them here. I don't want more stuff. I just want them. I was looking through a catalog that came in the mail today and couldn't enjoy daydreaming about owning some of these decorative accents because I need to organize better what we have--rather than add more stuff--to make room for more kids.